Long Way Down
by Fuyu no Akegata
Summary: What it takes to break down shinobibuilt walls... NOT my typical story.  I didn't even want to write it, but it insisted. NOT part of Tolerant Intolerance.   yaoi, rough sex, character death


**NOT **my typical story. I didn't even want to write it, but it insisted. It's possible I don't hate it as much as I did at 6 am. Luckily, the file became corrupted and I had to reconstruct it partially from email copies of the text and re-write the remainder. I like it slightly better since then, but I don't like what I wrote. Then again, who would?

To Hatochan for 5am challenges and BDSM shinobi clad in black leather.

**Title**: Long Way Down

**Genre**: Angst, PWP

**Status**: One-shot, Complete, Standalone **not** part of Tolerant Intolerance universe

**Summary**: What it takes to break down shinobi-built walls

**Warnings**: yaoi, coarse language, violence, angst, character deaths, rough sex, relatively unheard of pairing. (But I want to see more of these two together, hopefully in a happier situation)

**Disclaimer**: You know Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, because if I owned them, yaoi pairings would be canon… "Long Way Down" lyrics belong to Radford

**Long Way Down **

_Just another day my dear choking in the atmosphere_

_And if I just breathe in maybe I'll black out_

_Cause you know, yeah you know_

_You know, I can always see right through you_

_Oh no everything has changed _

_You may never be the same_

_I know disappointment reigns for you and me_

_It's a long way down_

_I've been inside my shell I just came out to wish you well_

_And if I just explode, would anybody notice me_

_It's a long way down _

_Such a long way down_

The moon shone on the surface of the glass, turning the window into a mirror, and the jounin watched a dark shape drift aimlessly through the dim streets. The single eye followed the shadow's reflection as it passed the tree where the silver headed man perched. Details slowly emerged from the dusky form. A spiky head of hair sat atop broad shoulders. The body moved with a slow deadly grace, even in its current erratic path.

Dead leaves rustled as a sudden gust caressed the earth like a lover returned from the wars. The steady tread of sandaled feet drew closer, drawing even with the watching shinobi. The pale head tilted as it considered the man below him. Irregular breaths were loud in the dim quiet. The lanky form noiselessly dropped from the height above.

A multitude of smells assaulted him, even through the mask covering half his face. Wood smoke drifted from various directions in the darkened village, blending with the dark moist scent of autumnal vegetation. Those two smells belonged together, were right. The mingled scents of sake, blood, and dumb grief were not.

"Raidou." An overwhelming sense of brittleness emanated from the normally rock-solid man. Kakashi placed a gloved hand on the bigger man's shoulder and felt cold clammy skin shudder beneath the light touch. Flat brown eyes stared unseeingly ahead. "Raidou..." the sharp voice coupled with a rough shake of the upper arm filtered through the hazy thoughts.

"Kakashi?" The older man shuddered like a swimmer surfacing from under a monstrous wave. The burly frame swayed slightly and Kakashi ducked under the shoulder to support his companion before he could crash to the damp ground. The bigger man staggered against the jounin and he tasted the bitter salt of tears on the chest that fell against the masked face. The tokujou clung tightly to the only lifeline to sanity he had encountered since the lunacy of a few hours past. "Kakashi..."

Kakashi rapidly formed the hand seals to transport the lost-sounding man to the jounin's apartment and led the ragged bear of a man to the waiting couch in a swirl of smoke. "Tell me what happened."

Raidou closed his eyes and sagged back against the worn cushions. "The ultimate irony. Training exercise with the latest crop of ANBU recruits. Dunno what they're teaching them in the Academy now, but apparently there are some big holes in their knowledge." The rumbling voice spoke in a monotone, as if reciting events that occurred to someone else long ago. "The kid must be an idiot or colorblind. I don't even know how he had access to those compounds at this stage in his training. He took a pack full of the bright green training senbon out with him. Yeah, the ones with the neurotoxin on them for anti-interrogation training. Genma saw the mistake, jumped in front of the kid's teammate, and took the hit. Four TTX-laced senbon to the throat. He never had a fucking chance. He was dead in less than two minutes."

His breath choked on a sob. "A fucking senbon."

Kakashi held the weeping man close, tears of pain shining in his own eyes, enfolding him in a tight embrace. Nonsense sounds stirred strands of russet hair as he comforted the broken man. Neither man noticed when the senseless noises turned to impassioned groans and comforting touches became intoxicating caresses. Kakashi was pressed roughly into the cushions as the grief-stricken shinobi ground his hips fiercely against the other groin.

Teeth and lips and tongue stole any remaining words from the younger man, reducing him to incomprehensible moaning. Shaking fingers fumbled with the flies and two buttons flew when they proved too difficult for the skilled shinobi. A rough, calloused hand reached down to grasp the hard length.

Three fingers from the other hand were brought to the jounin's mouth. Kakashi licked and sucked the digits, covering them in wetness. The hand was removed and joined its partner below the other man's waistband. One finger prodded the puckered entrance firmly, stopping just this side of roughness. The long thick finger stretched and stroked before another was added, fingers scissoring and stretching more. The pressure of the third digit was almost unbearable, but not necessarily in a bad way. Raidou spat in his palm and slicked the fluid along the head, mixing it with the fluid already leaking from the slit.

Kakashi's legs were pushed back towards his chest and the hard insistent length pushed relentlessly in. There was no period of adjustment, just the fast, furious rhythm, and all conscious thought faded until the only realities were in and out, up and down, thrust and counterthrust. Kakashi felt the slight twinge of tearing muscle, but only pushed further forward into it, the ache in his body matching the senseless ache in his heart; but he relished the pain as a reminder of life. As long as he could feel this, he could remember he was still here in this world, and he arched into the hurtful contact, causing Raidou to break the ferocious pace. His movements became wild and uncoordinated, but he still reached with single-minded purpose towards that one instinctive goal. Kakashi felt his balls draw up and tighten.

"Raidou... ngggh... ahhh. close... so close..." A tough, work hardened hand grasped Kakashi's weeping length and after only a few strokes he tensed and stiffened, hot fluid exploding between the two bodies. The intense shudders and contractions caused Raidou to convulse as well, ejecting his seed forcefully against Kakashi's prostate, provoking a round of almost seizure-like intensity.

Breathing only slowly returned to bearable limits and the bear of a man disentangled himself, reaching for a rag from his weapon's pouch to wipe off the sticky mess. He pushed away from the couch and went to stand at the window, already lost in thought. Kakashi followed more slowly, moving carefully. "Raidou?" The scarred tokujou jerked away from the hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me," the low voice hissed menacingly. Kakashi drew back, became hesitant. "Don't ever touch me."

Kakashi could see the walls closing in, could feel his friend withdrawing behind them. "Raidou, don't do this. Don't pull back. Don't let yourself not feel. That's not you."

"And what would you know about it?" the rough voice queried.

A half sob sighed in the darkness. "Iruka." A hint of light reappeared in the cinnamon orbs as he leaned forward to offer comfort to the silently shaking man.

The setting moon silvered the surface of the glass, turning the window into a mirror. Two shadows perched high in a tree, watching the play of light reflected beneath them as they waited the dawn. A hazy form moved with a slow deadly grace, drifting aimlessly in the almost light of early morning. Two forms noiselessly dropped the long way down to the snow-covered ground.

_Owari_

**Note**: TTX is the neurotoxin Tetrodotoxin (anhydrotetrodotoxin 4-epitetrodotoxin, tetrodonic acid) It's a potent neurotoxin with no known antidote. It blocks the pores of sodium channels in nerve cell membranes. The name comes from Tetraodontiformes, the order that includes the puffer fish, which carries the toxin. (Yep, fugu, the one that poisons you if prepared incorrectly) Death is swift, due to paralysis of the diaphragm, causing inability to breathe.


End file.
